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August 12, 2020  |  By K. B. MacNeille In Current Events

Good Riddance, Fall Sports

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It’s been a whirlwind of emotions over here at the Arizona State University College Football house of obsessive fandom. First, we got this nugget of soul-sucking news:

…to which I responded with the following melodramatic yet accurate deep-dive into my soul:


I hate college football. I hate all sports, but college football is the worst.

You get eleven guys on the field, dressed in uniforms that make them look like bobble heads, and face them off against eleven other guys dressed equally as ridiculously, but usually in a color you hate worse than the first guys. It’s a miserable blood bath, and all for what: the amusement of adoring, loyal fans? I became one of them, and look what’s become of me.

Now, before you try to persuade me, know this: I’ve been to a stadium. I’ve felt the rumble of the crowds vibrate my bones and awaken my instinct to scream, root, celebrate, and boo. I’ve wondered—in my early years—if it was worth leaving before the clock ran out to beat traffic. I’ve learned—in my wise old age—that Hail Marys mind no traffic.

I’ve been thrown in the air as the whistle sounds our victory. I’ve run circles around the block. I’ve cried over losses so devastating, I wondered if my husband would need medication to overcome them.

I know the game. I know the damage it can do. And I’ve had enough.

I love Fall, and if all I could have wished for this Fall to make it more perfect was the dissolution of our family’s most emotional Saturday nights, I have gotten my wish. Now, I can enjoy my peaceful, chilled nights alone, in the quiet of a sport-less season.

It’s perfect, really.

As the cold creeps in, I will feel a stillness that can only be brought on by the absence of yellow flags. There will be no anxiety. No highs and lows. No anomalous reasons to get up in the morning and dread the outcome of a game that will never be played.

They say the players may enter my living room again in the Spring. Perhaps the dawning of new life will adequately offset the forfeiting of my soul to the game. Until the Spring, my bitter-sweet plague. Until the Spring.


But then, when I ran it by Rhett, he informed me of this new development:

…which implies we MAY have a shot at year-round football. While this does not allow ASU to play in the Fall, as they should, it does sound pretty sweet, no?

While I’m preparing to have my emotions thrown back and forth like a warm-up football, I will cling to hope that there will at least be an opportunity to root for somebody in the Fall, like the best fair-weathered fan you’ve ever seen.

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