It’s been a whirlwind of emotions over here at the Arizona State University College Football house of obsessive fandom. First, we got this nugget of soul-sucking news: …to which I responded with the following melodramatic yet accurate deep-dive into my soul: I hate college football. I hate all sports, but college football is the worst. […]
For the first fifteen years of my reading career, I dedicated myself almost exclusively to one genre: fantasy. What is reading if not a way to completely leave your own, completely factual life behind? Occasionally, I would meander into the realistic fiction section of the library, but even that was rare. Fantasy was life. I […]
In our house, we have no germs. I know what you’re thinking. “How is that possible? You have two kids!” First, I resent the implication that kids are germ-infested creatures. To think they house and spread germs more frequently just because they lick and touch everything and drool and sneeze all over everything, is simply […]
As the battle with quarantine rages, I’ve been searching high and low for solutions to the boredom that is filling our house. We’ve exploded stick bombs, sprayed each other in the face with spray bottles, lined up every shoe in the house, and watched every episode of PJ Masks several hundred times. And while all […]
In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, the Center for Disease Control has decided to uplift the spirits of the communities on the front lines by hosting a Match Day party for up-and-coming physicians. Match Day parties, a time-honored tradition among fourth year medical students, are held on a Friday morning every year. Match Day […]
I feel an important obligation to interrupt my usual commentary and present you with this treatise written by a proactive Walmart worker. She handed it to me after she finished loading 8 giant tubs of oatmeal into my trunk. I told her I was making cookies. She didn’t believe me. Whatever your reason for going […]
I am a huge fan of diets. The stricter, the better. If you don’t believe me, check out one of my previous posts, The Water Diet: Lose That Baby Weight Fast! And that is not the only diet that has found its way into our house. This one is perfect for anyone in the busy medical […]
***Spoiler Alert!*** The Bachelorette is widely accepted as one of the most wholesome and intellectually stimulating programs in television. Unfortunately, I spent most of my life ignorantly opposing it, as if I had any better way to spend my time. It wasn’t until medical school, in the depths of my total loneliness, that I stumbled […]
Cheerleader’s are the world’s worst sports fans. They shout, “Go team!”–implying that they aren’t 100% sure what the name or mascot of their team actually is. They face the fans rather than the players for most of the game, and don’t mind. If you were to ask every person leaving the stadium after the national […]
