Ah, interview season. Pardon me while I revel in the memory of this glorious time. I envy all of the fourth year medical students who are entering such a rich time of life! We could not be more excited for you.
Now that applications are in, you have mere weeks, days if you’re lucky, before the fun begins. Interviews will roll in at exactly the pace you are hoping. Hundreds a day, to put your anxiety to rest. In fact, some of you spouses might take on the honored responsibility of receiving emails and scheduling interviews while your husbands are working. No sweat. There is no pressure riding on the careful selection of dates and times.
As stressed as your doctor spouse might appear, don’t let it get you down. He’s the one having all the fun. Here are only a few of the amazing opportunities presented by the interview trail:
Endless travel at all hours to beautiful destinations will allow for almost excessive exploration of the hidden gems of the country. My husband’s favorite was Detroit.
They get to attend almost nightly parties, called “socials” to disguise the reality of excess alcohol consumption (by some) and frivolous conversation.
What pastime is more fun than riding the line between pretending to be better than everyone else at the aforementioned socials, without having the appearance of trying to be better than everyone? None, I tell you.
There will never be a shortage of quality food provided by socials and local restaurants as high class as Taco Bell and McDonalds.
Profound weight gain from stress eating and eating on the go is sure to prepare any doctor for the immediate needs of any impending Santa suit vacancies, as well as preparing them for the upcoming Intermittent Fasting Diet required once residency starts.
They will have vacation time around the holidays, during which none of you will know what to do with yourselves except continue to pay sky high tuition while binge watching Hallmark movies.
And then there are the enlightening conversations during interviews in which future doctors answer soul searching and prudent questions about the ethical steps to be taken when a homeless child steals a burrito from the hospital to feed her starving puppy. Brain teasers help keep the mind sharp.
By the end of interview season, your doctor will have the opportunity to face all of the programs he or she has courted, lined up at the rose ceremony of life, begging you to tell them each that they are your number one pick. It will be a fun-filled month in paradise while you try to decide which mate will reciprocate your love. Who doesn’t crave getting back into the dating game?
Pumpkin spice. Trick-or-Treating. Snow Angels. Interviews. Incomprehensible debt. Buckle up for the best few months of your lives. Happy trails!
