We are five days into the new year already! Happy 2019! How are those resolutions coming along? All still roaring with the success of blind faith and optimism brought on by a sugar-induced holiday haze?

I have to admit, my resolution right now is one-fold: function better than I have been since the onset of my parasite in August. With that, I owe you an explanation and an apology. As can often occur in mothers of toddlers, I had a momentary lapse into insanity following a few nights straight of beautiful, solid sleep. The first two months of residency had been challenging but doable, and my husband and I felt like the Grinch after his heart grew three sizes–capable of lifting any load and feeling all the happiness the world had to offer. Despite Facebook pages and examples of friends mere miles away who were only a year or two farther into the journey than we were, despite warnings from voices both loud and sleep-deprived, we decided now would be the perfect time to try for a second child.

We were very fortunate in that it all happened very quickly. There was no time to do a double take at exactly what my husband’s schedule would look like in May, the month of the due date. We didn’t think twice about what off-service rotations (code for physically demanding and mentally and emotionally draining rotations) would do to the mood of our household. None of that would matter, especially if this pregnancy went as smoothly as the last. Which, of course, it did not.

As soon as the little parasite (whom we love with all our hearts already, of course) settled in, I lost all motivation, physical health, and every IQ point I had. I left my novel to bleed out under a bridge somewhere, a mere 10,000 words from “The End.” This blog became the only silent place in my life as my son’s terrible twos called in the cavalry. Half-blinded by hormone-colored glasses, I watched it all happen from the horizontal comfort of my couch.

The parasite is 23 weeks old now (24 if you ask me, but they didn’t). Now distantly removed from the horrors of first trimester, I want to apologize for leaving the blog for so long! With some mental acuity hopefully restored, I am excited to get back to reflecting on the “beauties” of life in residency, life as a mom of a toddler, and just life in general. I even made a new friend a few months back that I am excited to introduce you to soon. She and I have grown very close over off service rotations. I think you’ll like her. Some of you probably even know her. More on that little gem later.

For now, I want to leave you with an uplifting thought on New Year’s Resolutions, since most of you will still insist on making too many. Even since I wrote my vague, non-goal oriented resolution above, I’ve realized I need something a little more detailed. I think I’ll start with physical fitness, as many of us do. Maybe a rigid, early-morning routine that starts at 5AM, so I can make sure to get it done before my two-year old wakes up. Who knows when that will be, am I right? Here’s a rough draft of my new plan for a new me:

• Set alarm for 4:50 to ensure prompt 5AM wake up time
• Hand blend a smoothie of every super food on Pinterest (don’t forget the chia seeds, fish oil, and cruciferous vegetables). Don’t use the blender. If the child wakes up, there will be no more exercise in 2019.
• Fill Hydro Flask. Sip on smoothie and water throughout workout.
• Begin workout: Ten minutes of yoga including a relaxed salutation to the sun.
• 10 minute wall sit
• 40 crunches
• 75 bicep curls with 15 lb dumbells (x5 sets)
• 4,587 jumping jacks
• Run 9 miles (treadmill is fine if husband is already at work)
• Return to the house by 6:30AM to prepare a nutritious breakfast of scrambled eggs, peppers, kale salad, and probably another green smoothie for my non-picky eater.

All you moms out there, especially new ones who are valiantly clinging to the last corndog in the freezer until you can get to Chick-fil-A: who’s with me? Let’s stop making excuses. Exhaustion is merely a sign of improvement and growth. It’s a new year. Here’s to a new us.