Cheerleader’s are the world’s worst sports fans. They shout, “Go team!”–implying that they aren’t 100% sure what the name or mascot of their team actually is. They face the fans rather than the players for most of the game, and don’t mind. If you were to ask every person leaving the stadium after the national championship game what the final score was, the cheerleaders would be the only ones who couldn’t tell you.
Spiteful rant aside, I do believe many cheerleaders have good intentions. Put aside the pep squad members who are in it solely for the attention, and let’s focus for a moment on the other dozen or so well-intentioned cheerleaders. Specifically, the ones currently in relationships with sports fanatics. The Super Bowl is in a week. They have dedicated countless hours to clapping, doing the splits, and flailing pom-poms, but the moment of truth has come. It is time to host a Super Bowl party. Nothing could be more terrifying.
It is for this small group of helpless hosts that I put together this fool-proof post.
The Cheerleader’s Guide to Hosting a Super Bowl Party
1. Guests
There should be significantly less guests in your apartment/house than you are used to in a stadium, so don’t be concerned about that. Ask your boyfriend/husband which friends he would like to invite. A hint about men: just because they have a friend, it doesn’t mean that friend has to come to the party. Forget the mentality that if you invite Joe, you have to invite Ben. A Super Bowl party is very different from a GNO (girls’ night out).
You will also want to take into consideration the teams that are playing and which guests will root for which team. This is where your cheerleading instincts will come in handy. The contention you are used to feeling between the other cheerleaders is similar to the contention you are aiming for among your guests. Super Bowl parties are some of the few times men will openly fight with each other. You want that. The best turnout will embody the rivalry of the game.
2. Food
Second only to the TV, the food is the most important part. Not salad, food. If you’re not sure where to start, Pinterest was made for you! It is full of fool-proof recipes that will show off your creativity. The only thing you need to know about football for most of these recipes is what one looks like.
https://www.pinterest.com/1musicaljuliet/super-bowl-party-menu/
3. Decorations
This is where you should be wary of what you find on the internet. Less is more. Social media sites websites that cater to women have created the illusion that the guests you invite will actually care about decorations. They won’t. Instead of decorating, spend your time making sure the TV works. (Below are good questions to ask Google if you need help.)
How do I turn on the TV?
What does a remote look like?
What is DirectTV? Cable? Which one do I have?
What time is the Super Bowl on?
4. Attire
Box up your pompoms. Put the cheerleading uniform away. Start by researching what teams are playing and what their colors are. Let me help:
It may be helpful to know the mascots as well, although you should leave the wearing of mascot costumes to the pros. Instead, wear a jersey or t-shirt in the appropriate color and jeans. If you’re feeling ambitious, you may choose to paint your face or nails. Use whatever effort you spared in decorating your house to decorate yourself. The important thing is that you pick a team to root for over the course of the entire game to avoid the most backlash. Nobody likes a fair-weather fan!
On Game Day
Now that the chips are out and the TV is on, you’re in your element. Cheer loud! Just avoid any high kicks, as they may shatter your TV, and your street cred as a host. Happy Super Bowl!
