Snow!
Sorry, pardon my French. But really, what are your feelings? I’ll give you your choices: you either hate snow, love snow, or are unfaithful in your loyalties.
If you and your ancestors deliberately settled in a place like Arizona for the sole purpose of avoiding that fluffy white stuff, and you have never once looked back or complained for lack of a white Christmas, you may place yourself in the hate category. I don’t understand you, but I can appreciate your stance. You probably like cacti, too. It takes all kinds of people to populate a world.
If you live on the east coast and are currently blogging/tweeting/instagramming about #snowmageddon2016 for the fun of it, but not because you’re dreading it, you might be a snow lover. You save your hatred for snowplows, summer, and salt. Some think you are odd when you cry on Christmas day because you can see grass. Many roll their eyes at you and make obscene gestures at you when you hop in your car, slide out of the snow-frosted parking lot/driveway of your home, and go adventuring past the neighborhood watch snowmen who try to flag you down.
“You can’t go down the hill!” they cry. “Too slippery!”
My pleasure. You grin to yourself. I’ll go up.
The last great memory you have is of the time when you had to find hidden back roads to take you home from that adventure (despite the best efforts of even more neighborhood watchmen to keep you out all night), and get a running (driving) start to make it all the way up a freshly iced hill. You will be loyal to the snow even when it makes you late to work. Especially when it makes you late to work.
The world would be a peaceful place if both parties would stay on their sides of the line. But things get icy when snow buries cars. When snow dares to encroach on important dates or events. When snow causes schools to shut their doors unexpectedly. Or even more so, when lack of snow fails to shut down schools.
Those who yesterday were building snowmen and throwing flakes into the air joyously, wake up the next morning and try to curse the snow off their windshields, like the beauty of yesterday is not worth the work of today. That’s what that expired CPR certification card cluttering up your wallet is for! Get it out and scrape to the sound of the memories of yesterday.
Teachers who proclaimed in June last year that if they had to make up any more snow days they would leave the profession, are heard in December shedding their loyalty.
“I could really use a snow day right about now.”
Yeah? Well maybe all your precious snow days are hiding from all your hateful words of yesteryear.
Global warming is surely a sign of Mother Nature’s response to our fickleness. Pick a side, I implore you. And before you do, look out your window. If you see snow, count your blessings. If you don’t, hit your favorite social media site and follow an east coast resident. While you bask in the magnificence of each individual snowflake, forget the toils of yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Don your snow boots and scarves. Slip your warm fingers into mittens and wrap them around a steaming cup of hot cocoa. Then you are ready to choose a side. I hope you will choose correctly.
