This is one of the most dominant messages of today. As individuals, it is our duty to ourselves to focus on breaking away from the crowd and becoming whoever and whatever we want. We are not limited by the rules society has set.

This message is not new; we have seen its empowering results in the founding of our country as a few strong-willed men took the road less traveled (and highly booby trapped) and fought a war to gain independence from Great Britain. Breaking away from the standards set for us has resulted in the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The right to vote for blacks and women. Freedom of religion. I am unquestionably grateful for so many brave souls who worked tirelessly to provide me with these freedoms.

But is it possible that we have taken the demonization of “the crowd” too far?

In valuing the individual so much higher than the crowd he is trying to get away from, we send the message that it is more important to stand on a pedestal of uniqueness than it is to stand in the trenches of community.

A German philosopher who is noted as “one of the most influential of all modern thinkers” (Encyclopedia Brittanica) said the following:

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. – Friedrich Nietzsche

Do we agree with this? Is no price too high? What is the current market value of a self-centered life?

In a recent conference I heard the following story that I believe exemplifies the danger of focusing too much on “the privilege of owning yourself” and too little on “the tribe.”

One of our … devotional speakers … taught us about ‘becoming.’ One of her statements … was, ‘Be someone who reaches out to know and serve others—throw away the mirrors and look through the window.’

To demonstrate this, she called up one of the young women and asked that young woman to stand facing her. [She] then pulled out a mirror and put it between the young woman and herself so that she, [the speaker], was looking into the mirror while she tried to talk with the young woman. Not surprisingly, it didn’t even begin to be an effective or heartfelt conversation. This was a powerful object lesson that illustrated how difficult it is to communicate with and serve others if we are too worried about ourselves and see only ourselves and our needs. [She] then put away the mirror, pulled out a window frame, and put it between her face and the young woman’s face. … We were able to see that the young woman had become [her] focal point and that true service requires that we focus on the needs and emotions of others. Ofttimes we are so worried about ourselves and our own busy lives—as we look in mirrors while trying to look for opportunities to serve—that we do not see clearly through the windows of service. – Cheryl A. Esplin

(Full talk at http://tinyurl.com/h9u7kpf)

Of course it is not innately a bad message to impress upon minds, especially young ones, that they should try to be their best selves. Think outside the box. Be unlimited by their circumstances. But what happens when that message is coming through their earbuds so loudly that every other message is drowned out? When we break away from every crowd in our lives, stop serving, loving, caring, and wondering how our actions might effect others, who is left to lean on when the hard times come? How does a soul handle complete isolation?

I do not believe we are meant to be alone–not on the pedestal or in the trenches. But we are taught that the only person we can really count on is ourselves. The only person who should be allowed to influence who we will become is ourselves. The question of, “who is your inspiration?” may soon turn out results less like this:

…and more like this:

I do not need to learn from anyone else. Everything I need to be great is inside me. I’m never changing who I am. “Improvement” is just another word for “conformity.”

You can see the slippery slope.

Individual commitment to a group effort – that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work. – Vince Lombardi

May we spend more time looking through windows instead of in mirrors–or staring at the tiny lens of our individualistic selfie cameras–and there find better selves and better communities.